I feel that the strengths were my introductory paragraph and the departure for the journey. The introductory paragraph seems to grasp the readers attention and makes them want to read on. Additionally i feel that the actual journey paragraph gives a lot of details allowing for the reader to create a vivid mental image of what is happening.
Two things that i think i could improve on is transitioning from one idea to another. Because the topic is not known to many people, it can be hard to follow and understand. Another thing that i need to work on is explaining the actual lesson that i learned because it comes off somewhat vague and not well thought out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment